Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
