The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You took a bar mat shot.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
