these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
