Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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