He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
