and you said cock pushups were impossible
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
