What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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