I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
