you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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