Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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