Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
