We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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