Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
