she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
tell me about the eggs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
