these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Randomize
