I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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