you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize