yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
