opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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