Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
