She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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