ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
