Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
