There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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