What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
