his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
