so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize