His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize