Buhtt sex?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
