spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
