He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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