so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
