I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
