Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
