he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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