i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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