UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
