hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize