Yo dont text me then not text me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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