watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
