So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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