I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
