Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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