Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize