He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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