this beer tastes like vomit already
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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