I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize