i permit you to call me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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