lets start a swedish sibling band together
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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