school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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