is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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