you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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