I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
