she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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