Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
