i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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