I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
