I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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