i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
