You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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