dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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