i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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