yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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