How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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