i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
