I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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