I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
