drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
