how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
