Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
