Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
