are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
