Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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