Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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