i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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