The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
