I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
try to milk me bitch
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