I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
