the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
