i was born a porn star she said
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
