Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize