My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
