so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
