i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
