If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
